When it comes to looking after ourselves, many mums tend to put themselves last. Whether it be their mental, physical or spiritual well being or perhaps even all of the above.
This is usually set off by the drastic changes that all parents experience when their first little munchkin is born, and we have to ride out those first few crazy months trying to establish a routine that works for us. But usually, while we make sure that everyone else is happy and healthy, we fail at it for ourselves.
I can almost guarantee that most mums have put off taking care of their own health at some point or another because they simply think they are too busy to look after themselves while having to look after everyone else. For many of us, this continues past the newborn stage as we fall into a rhythm of doing everything for everyone, and think we don’t have time or energy left for ourselves. But putting yourself last all the time only builds overwhelm, frustration, anxiety and dissatisfaction.
Because it’s simply not possible to pour from an empty cup?
I know first hand exactly how this all plays out. And let me tell you…..
it’s not pretty.
I mean for a while there, even the cat came higher up than me on the hierarchy of health list. While I made wonderfully nutritious meals for the kids, ensured they got their daily dose of physical activity, fed them multivitamins, made sure they got enough sleep and limited their technology time………. I ate microwaved crap, over indulged in unhealthy snacks, constantly relied on my dopamine hit from facebook, drank too much, ate too much, netflixed too much and would curl into an exhausted ball of despair at the end of the day, as I wondered why I didn’t have any energy left to put into myself and my overall wellbeing.
My optimum health was at an all time low. I was mentally, physically and spiritually suffering. And then, I burnt myself out.
Something had to change.
But how?
Sometimes it seems almost impossible to get yourself back onto the health and wellness train. But when you decide to get off the bad habit train, all it takes is the integration of healthy habits into your regular routine, and its simple when you know how.
How to implement healthy habits into your busy family life and stick to them.
Firstly, you need to understand that optimal health looks different for everyone. And it doesn’t matter who you are, the key to gaining and maintaining YOUR optimal health, is to make it a habit by building it into your regular daily routine.
Many women don’t realise they have the incredible power to create the life they are longing for. This was so true for me not long ago. I so desperately wanted to feel better, be a better mum, for myself and for my family, I just didn’t know how to get there. But my motivation to take the reins and gain back control was inspired by my love for them.
I realised, I needed to change the way I looked after myself and treated myself, in order to be able to look after them. And the only way I could do that, was to put myself first again, change my unhealthy habits and replace them with more optimal healthy, regular and sustainable habits.
So how can you disrupt your destructive unhealthy habits and create lasting, healthy changes to reach your optimal health?
#1 Understand the importance of health and believe in the benefits of being healthy.
Healthy daily habits can make such a huge difference to your overall health and your life. When we step up and take charge of our personal health it not only has positive impacts for us, but everyone around us. My family is now the happiest we have ever been, only because I am now performing at my best. I’m living proof that the simple concept of happy, healthy mums, have happy, healthy kids. At this point, you may need more motivation to help you even begin the journey to looking after yourself better. So I encourage you to believe in the benefits of leading a healthier, happier life. With that, it’s important for you to first appreciate the wonderful gift that is your mind and body. That making the right decision to look after it, nourish it and protect it, is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself. And your family.
First and foremost, you have to believe you are worth it. Always.
#2 Work out what your motivations are to be healthy?
Work out ‘why’ it is important for you to be healthy and maintain healthy habits. If you don’t know why you want to keep healthy, sometimes it’s hard to keep motivated to sustain those habits. There are so many benefits to living a healthy lifestyle, you just need to work out your biggest pushes to get you there. Your reasons for being and staying healthy, need to outweigh the reasons not to. I like to write my ‘why’s down on paper to concrete them into my brain, stick them up somewhere visible for me to see every day and then constantly get inspired and motivated to keep them up. Whenever I feel unmotivated, I go back back and review the reasons why I choose to keep healthy and why they are important to me. Boom, reinspired.
#3 Habits must be achievable and sustainable.
It’s important to remember, when making lifestyle changes it’s not about perfection and putting pressure on yourself. It’s important to choose achievable habit standards and then implement them into your daily routine so they become a natural habit. Some habits are easy to start up and stick to every day, others, it’s recommended to try and do 3-5 times a week, at least, in order to optimise your health. Start slow, small incremental steps, one block at a time sort of thing.
Oh yes, I used to be a really good example of one of those people who would suddenly strike a burst of motivation, would set goals for myself, smash out a week of eating ridiculously healthy food, diet and starve myself in between smashing out exhausting workouts, only to fall flat by lack of instant results and then give in to my old ways simply because I had put way too much pressure on myself with unachievable standards and habits I couldn’t sustain.
#4 How to make healthy habits an everyday thing.
Schedule those little fuckers in. Work out what areas of your health need work and what habits you want to start implementing to improve your overall health and well-being.
Check out my ‘7 Pillars to YOUR Ultimate Health’ post here to get started.
Then work out how you can maintain them. Once you have identified those habits, put them into your schedule. Create a visual plan and put them up on the wall to remind you to do them.
I know you think you don’t have time to meditate, workout and eat well but let me promise you that you do. You can write out your weekly schedule and make sure you find time to practice those habits. Everyday and stick to them. There is always a way to find time in your schedule, whether it means getting up 10 minutes earlier, watching less of your favourite Netflix show at the end of the day or working out by using your toddler for your weight lifting exercises. I mean what toddler doesn’t love to be spun around and suspended high up in the air? Those fun dance sessions to ‘Let It Go’ with my 3 year old really are a fantastic workout.
Make sure your schedule works around your family and make a point of getting everyone on board, so they understand that time is yours. Sometimes a bit of collaboration and compromise need to take place to reorganise your schedule and include new habits, but it’s worth it.
For example, my husband and I both like to workout separately in the mornings, so he takes the first half of the morning and I take the second. Everyone knows that Daddy is out between 6 and 7 and that I am out between 7 and 8. Everyday. It’s on the schedule, everyone knows that’s our time and we do it everyday. Therefore it is a habit everyone is on board with and it’s easy to stick to.
#5 Discipline is key.
I honestly cannot yell at you loud enough here.
DISCIPLINE!!!!!!!
Do the little things. Do them well. And keep doing them.
Our brains thrive on getting instant results.I am particularly fond of instant results. But let me tell you, reaching your optimal health is something that will not happen overnight and needs constant, regular maintenance. Implementing healthy habits for a week and then never again is like doing house work once and expecting it to stay tidy forever. Wouldn’t that be a dream? The key that I have realised here, and that many people misconceive, is that taking small, incremental steps over a very long period of time, produces better results than putting in huge effort over a shorter period of time. Think about it, how many times have you smashed out a week, or a month of exercise and healthy eating, seen some results but not enough to keep you motivated and then faded slowly back to your unhealthy self again simply because you haven’t stuck with it? Do you ever wonder,what if you had only kept it up? I’d like you to imagine here, where would you be now?
#6 Tracking and accountability.
I have a timetable, meal planner and a habit tracker on the wall in my kitchen so I can keep track of how well I am maintaining my healthy habits. There’s something about being able to tick off and visibly see that you have achieved and are keeping to each healthy habit everyday. My family can also see this which holds me accountable for staying on track.If I have an urge to purge, that tracking sheet seems to shine its way into my thought processes and encourages me to stay on track.
You can download my tracking template here.
So is it time now for you to start putting yourself first?
Take time for your own personal well-being and create positive change by creating and practicing regular healthy habits. The trick truly is, making small changes, everyday and sticking to them. Make sure it’s achievable and sustainable for you and your family and that everyone around you is on board to support and encourage you. Start pouring from a healthier cup and make driven decisions to improve everyone’s overall well-being today, by starting with yours.