Why do we as women try to do EVERYTHING on our own? Check the date ladies, we are not in the 1950’s any more and 2021 is busier than ever! Most modern husbands are actually keen to help out more these days. But most of the time the problem is that they just don’t know how. And others who may not be so keen just need a little encouragement. So, here are some sure fire ways to get your husband helping around the house- WITHOUT NAGGING!
Regardless of whether you are a stay at home mum or you work full time … there is always sooooo much to do and the weight of it all shouldn’t be put all on YOU!
I grew up watching my Mum, do everything for everyone and although she was a superstar, I vowed that I would not be that Mum. But when we had our first baby, I became a stay at home mum while my husband went to work and simply fell into the trap of doing everything because I was home all day.
By the time #3 popped out it just became impossible to keep on top of everything and overwhelm crept in so much so that I eventually burnt out.
I was very lucky because my husband actually wanted to help. But the thing was, that because I had done everything for so long ….
he just had no idea what to do.
I remember thinking to myself one day as he searched for a clean pair of undies …… ‘Why does he not think to search for some in the pile of clean washing he has just stepped over a million times …….
without any thought to even put it away for me?’
Oh I dreamed of having a magical washing basket just like he and the kids had …. you know the one that you throw dirty laundry into and somehow it all miraculously reappears, clean, folded and tucked away neatly in your drawers.
Lucky buggers!
The thing was, I just couldn’t do it any more and nor should I have to.
So I don’t. I worked out a way to shelve a lot of the load I was trying to carry by myself and share it around! Not only do the kids have chore charts …. but now my husband does too!
Want your husband to help out more?
Here’s how to get your husband to do chores- WITHOUT NAGGING!
5 Steps to a Well Trained Husband!
Step One: Prime your husband!
Men like praise. I can’t speak for all husbands but I do know a lot of them. And most of them truly do want to please you, to keep you happy and feel like they are doing a good job.
And often, instead of affirming and reinforcing the good things they do for us, we turn to judgement and criticism instead.
So here is some training in Husband psychology 101: Instead of flinging negative nags his way, prime his ego first.
Let him know how much you appreciate the things that he does do for you and how much it helps YOU! Tell him that even the little things are appreciated! Start the conversation off with authentic praise and make him feel good and primed for what you will ask him for next!
Step 2: Ask for help
Firstly, you need to know that there is no harm in asking for help. As women we like to think we can do it all, but why should we? It can be hard for us to admit that we need it, but no one should be doing everything on their own!
Secondly, contrary to what we think sometimes, husbands cannot read our minds and often can’t read signals that from our point of view seem to be loud and clear.
It used to blow my mind that my husband would step over that pile of washing and not think twice that I might like him to do something about it!
Only for me to get grumpy because I had so much to do ….. but never bothered asking for his help! Until it was too late and I had bottled all the little things up and exploded!
Here’s the thing…. If you want help, you need to ask for it!
Verbally, with words in the clearest manner that you know how!
And once you’ve primed him instead of nagging him, he is going to be more willing to help out as much as he can.
Step 3: Make a list
So my husband really wanted to help me but of course he just didn’t know how, so this is what we did.
We sat down together, and brainstormed everything that caused me to feel overwhelmed and highlighted everything that I felt like I just could not get on top of. This became my Ultimate Housework Checklist that you can view here.
This was super therapeutic for me and I guarantee it will be for you too!
Here is what we did next!
Step 4: Get super clear about who does what! DELEGATE CLEARLY!
What we did with this list changed our lives!
I took that list and transformed it into a weekly cleaning schedule and spread everything out into daily chores and tasks that need to be done.
We then sat down again and he highlighted all the chores that he could help me with each day!
Some range from simply emptying the rubbish bin to cleaning the toilets ….. OH HALLELUJAH!
I had effectively created a chore chart for my husband to follow and it is incredibly amazing and it works!
Want it? you can download a blank template and do this too! FREE DOWNLOAD HERE!
Step 4: Create your own chore system, display somewhere handy and stick to it!
You can create your own household chore system too! Sit down together and give him some ownership as to what he might like to help you with!
Even if he works full time and you don’t, the little things add up!
You have no idea how amazing it is to get up in the morning and not have to empty the rubbish bin because my husband has already done it!
That’s a quick 2 minute job that I now never have to do!
Here is a template of our weekly cleaning schedule that you might like to use for yourself! It won’t make him feel degraded like he is one of your children that you’ve made a chore chart for because you can put your tasks on there too! It’s a just system that works!
We have ours right next to our kids chore charts and this helps them to understand too , that everyone in the house is a strong contributor! And whenever they whine about doing chores, I simply point to ours and let them know that we all have a part to play in our family!
If you’re looking for ways to delegate more to your kids, you may also like to check out these posts:
The Ultimate Stress-Free Morning Routine That Actually Works- Free Chore Chart Printables!
How to keep a consistently tidy home- EVEN WITH KIDS. (Free cleaning schedule template)
Or take it further and learn how you can create a total housework system! Click the image below to find our more about my Proven Ultimate Home Cleaning System for Mummies!
I have totally transformed my husband by training him in the art of housework. I now don’t even need to tell him to do things because he is aware of what needs to be done and knows how to do them.
And life is so much simpler because he helps me! And so he should. Life is just too busy to try and do everything for everyone all by yourself. We are a team. We both work hard and we both appreciate everything we do for each other. And there’s more time for each other now that we get it all done! Trust me, it’s worth it! Maybe it’s time that you made your own husband his very own chore chart too!
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