Contrary to popular belief, courage is a superpower that does not discriminate. We often misunderstand the meaning of courage and think that it belongs to only a certain chosen few who seem to hold the capacity to be more courageous in life than others. But the truth is, we all hold the capability to harness courage and grow it, just as we might a muscle in our body. But it’s important to understand the true meaning of courage and embracing the vulnerability that comes with it. You can learn how to cultivate and build courage and take the responsibility to Own Your Brave and live a bigger life.
Have FUN! Be BOLD! Live BIG!
I’m new to this courage thing. I’ve always been shy and had that strong inner critic force her ridiculous opinions into my thought processes. The ones that I resort to believing with ease. And that have consistently held me back from doing things I want to do, or achieving things I want to achieve. But this year, I’m pursuing vulnerability like a hungry wolf chasing down its prey. I’m actively searching for opportunities to learn and grow by leaning into resistance, feeling discomfort as often as I can and pushing myself out of my comfort zone like never before. This year I’m determined to own my brave and harness my biggest superpower that is COURAGE.
But the biggest thing I have learnt in my pursuit of living a bigger life, is that courage is not what it seems.
You see, Courage can be deceiving. And is often misunderstood.
The true meaning of COURAGE is key!
The mere mention of the word courage conjures up images of Braveheart like characters charging wildly into battlefields, throwing themselves into a gauntlet of life threatening scenarios and death defying acts as they fight so valiantly to save the world.
And all without an ounce of fear to go with it.
And here lies the misconception. Is that really what courage is? Or is there more to it?
The truth is, that courage cannot exist without fear.
It cannot be, without any form of vulnerability. And it does not discriminate or pick those who naturally possess it.
We are taught that courage is big and heroic. And we are constantly bombarded with similar types of imagery. But Courage is something that happens every day. It takes many shapes and forms and exists on many levels. Yes, it can be those fierce warriors that fight in battles. But it can also be the kid at school who stands up for something he sees isn’t right. It can be the mum who invites other mums over for a playdate even though the house is a right mess. And It can be as simple as smiling at a stranger at the supermarket and asking them how their day is.
Courage is different for everyone. Because fear is different for everyone. But 100% of us have the ability to cultivate courage and build our ability to use it.
And yes, it can be cultivated. Regularly practiced. And ultimately be a conscious choice that we can choose to make every day. We can choose to OWN OUR BRAVE despite our fear and go out and do it anyway.
So, if you’re up for stepping into courage, getting vulnerable and engaging with your fears to step out of your comfort zone, then here are 4 ways you can build courage every day and learn to OWN YOUR BRAVE.
4 ways to cultivate courage every day- And learn to OWN YOUR BRAVE
- Consciously choose courage and recognise the opportunity to engage in your fears
We had a day out in the boat recently and our 8 year old daughter spent the day excited to get back to the beach to go knee boarding behind the boat. As we headed back towards the shore, I could see that the closer we got to the beach her demeanor gradually began to change. And when we finally pulled up closer to the beach she decided that she no longer wanted to get in the water and outright refused to have a go. Her little voice inside her head was telling her not jump in that water. And that she needed to stay safe inside the boat.
No amount of persuasion was working to get her to change her mind.
So I knew it was up to me to show her that everything was ok. I’ve been water skiing these waters my whole life and I have never seen a shark. But the simple mention of the word suddenly planted a seed inside my own head and as I climbed over the side of the boat and looked into that deep green, I suddenly felt my own severe resistance to getting into that water and leaving the safety of the boat. But I knew I had to do this. For her. So I leapt off the side of the boat and swam to my board as fast as I could trying not to look like I was panicked by what may have lurked below.
My big smile and confident demeanour hid the fact that as I paddled my arms and kicked my legs, all I could think of at this very moment was that I might lose a limb to a giant shark, hungry for some silly mum trying to prove something to her children.
I was overwhelmed by fear. Scenes from all those jaws movies I wish I had never watched flashed through my brain and I couldn’t wait to get hold of the bar so I could tell my husband to hit the throttle. Finally, with my tightest grip and white knuckles, I felt the pull of the boat launch me out of the water and I climbed steadily on top of the board.
A sudden burst of exhilaration hit me, as my board skimmed over the water and I jumped from one side of the wake to the other. And then I remembered. This is so much fun! And so exhilarating. I love being out on the water. I love how it feels to ride that board up and over the wake and be dragged behind that boat at speed. And Suddenly I wasn’t overwhelmed by fear any more. I was overwhelmed by adrenaline, fun and pure nostalgia of my childhood. And the kids, they sat and watched, and smiled and laughed and showed sheer amazement as they watched me ride that board behind them.
And then I fell off. Into the green. And once again, I swam like hell to my board. The fear hadn’t completely left me. But the desire to continue the fun overrode that fear and I continued to ride that board for several more turns despite of it.
Even if a shark had bitten off my arm that day, the experience would’ve been worth it. It reminded me to push myself outside of my comfort zone. It reminded me how it feels to step into fear, engage in it and take opportunities to feel discomfort ….. because the result is so worth the ride.
And my 8 year, well, she followed suit and got in the water right after me. Which made it even more worthwhile.
You don’t have to swim in deep ocean waters every day to make courage an opportunity. But recognising your fears and consciously choosing to step into courage and engage in what scares you can help you grow and build your ability to do so in future situations. Being conscious and aware of fear and vulnerability and knowing the power of leaning into it instead of resisting it can make all the difference. You can choose to let fear hold you back. Or you can choose courage to move forward. Courage is just like a muscle. Every time you feel a little bit of anxiety or fear, that can be your moment to lift the weight and build something bigger.
- Get comfortable being uncomfortable
Practicing discomfort and embracing vulnerability is the key to building courage. The more we practice leaning in to feeling these feelings the better we get at choosing courage over comfort. Embracing vulnerability comes with a whole lot of practice, a whole lot of mistakes, feeling kind of silly, questioning yourself and being able to pep talk yourself back up to just keep going.
For me, I know my fear archetypes. These are the characteristics that hold me back. And I try every day in hot pursuit to push the boundaries of each of these particular traits. Perfectionism and procrastination are my worst enemies. So I no longer hold back on inviting people around if my house is in disarray. I have 3 kids who are wild at heart and I embrace the pride that I have in raising their spirits instead of hindering their creativity with a tidy house.
I freeze myself in the shower every morning, so I can feel myself in the moment of discomfort and remind myself why it is important to push through resistance when I feel it.
And I work hard at pursuing my desire for a meaningful, impactful and connected life by constantly trying to stay clear of that safety net and comfort that I know will keep me stuck where I don’t want to be. And it’s working. My dreams have become goals. And my goals are turning into my reality as I encounter that exhilarating feeling that I felt behind the boat that day in so many other ways, in so many other everyday moments.
- Stop asking yourself ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’
Have you ever looked back on a situation and said, ‘I really wish I had have done that!’
Or how often do you find yourself saying, ‘If only I had have tried.’
We all fear different things but the effect of fear is always the same. It keeps us stuck and consequently moves us further away from what we are truly capable of. So the next time you face that vulnerability and feel that fear, why not ask yourself this instead.
‘What the best possible outcome that could happen here?’
A simple shift in the way we might look at the situation can realign our perspective without the lens of fear holding us back.
Fear is sometimes hard to identify because like courage it can be disguised as rational thinking. You may find yourself asking questions such as, ‘What if I fail? What if I can’t actually do this? Or Am I thinking too big?’
It’s easy to revert back to your primitive brain and rationalise what you think are good reasons not to do something and consequently talk yourself out of it.
But what if you were to challenge yourself in these situations? What if you were to challenge your thinking and change your point of view from a courage perspective instead? Are you willing to step up and find that exhilarating feeling?
- Learn to engage with your fear
Trying to fight fear by ignoring it does not work. Our natural instinct is to move away from things that scare us. One way to deal with fear is to move towards it. Experience it. Examine it. And work out that very thing that is frightening you really isn’t nearly as scary as you thought. You can choose to practice courage by engaging with your fear. By challenging old habits and forming new ones. Encourage positive self-talk and changing the voice of your inner critic that holds you back from doing things you know you are most certainly capable of. Take responsibility for focusing on what you do want, believe in yourself and this will clear away the barriers that inhibit you from even starting. Feel the fear, do it anyway and OWN YOUR BRAVE!
So are you willing to choose courage over comfort?
What if you didn’t wait for that crisis opportunity to present itself in order for you to find and own your brave? What if you took every day moments, engaged in your fear, embraced vulnerability and built your brave one little weight lifting exercise at a time? What might be your best possible outcome if you did? Life either shrinks or expands in relation to one’s courage. You can choose today to consciously grow your courage, step into vulnerability and discomfort and live a bigger life because of it.
So is today your opportunity to choose courage over comfort and OWN YOUR BRAVE?